Be Strong Honey, I love you (R)

994 Views 16 Replies 10 Participants Last post by Rob West, Oct 22, 2004

mikegunner

Discussion Starter · Aug 10, 2004

A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair.

While tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom.

While he's in there, the husband tells the wife: "Listen, this
guy's an escaped convict. Look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don't resist. Don't complain. Do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him, no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, Honey. I love you."

The wife responds,"He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked if we had any Vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong, Honey. I love you, too!"

1 - 17 of 17 Posts

Mad Ogre

· #2 · Aug 10, 2004

Where is the "I'm going to puke" smilie?

mikegunner

Discussion Starter · #3 · Aug 10, 2004

Ogre- -- I just post the jokes, I do not post editorial on them!!!!

Dean Speir

· #4 · Aug 11, 2004

Just as guns do not of their own volition discharge, "jokes" posted imply an editorial decision on the part of the poster.

That shouldn't have to be stated… but for some reason it does.

Mad Ogre

· #5 · Aug 11, 2004

Mike, Dean just called you a sick sick man...

:twisted:

action barbarian

· #6 · Aug 12, 2004

Thanks for the joke, I for one did appreciate it in all it's
"un-pcness".

cheers, the action barbarian

ps: But please do not make fun of things I hold nearest and
dearest, and no I did not list them in my "interests" section of
my personal profile.

mikegunner

Discussion Starter · #7 · Aug 12, 2004

Mad Ogre said:
Mike, Dean just called you a sick sick man...

:twisted:

He is not the first, nor will he be the last!

I have heard myself referred to around town as "That crazy gun guy". I have 5.5 acres in a rural neighborhood, and I am on top of the hill. I put a 120' long, 2'thick brick wall across the front of my property (with an angled 12' opening covered by a sliding gate). On the outside of the wall, I have a 3'x4' sign with reflective lettering stating: Private Drive, No Tresspassing, Violators will be shot, survivors will be prosecuted". Needless to say, I don't have any problems with Jehovah's Witness's, Salesmen, Drop in company, trick or treaters, etc.... Should someone decide to come up anyway, I have security camera's outside and inside the house endless loop recorded 24hrs a day along with an elaborate alarm system.

Crazy??? no -- I consider myself a realist.

LIProgun

· #8 · Aug 12, 2004

mikegunner said:
I have 5.5 acres in a rural neighborhood, and I am on top of the hill. I put a 120' long, 2'thick brick wall across the front of my property (with an angled 12' opening covered by a sliding gate). On the outside of the wall, I have a 3'x4' sign with reflective lettering stating: Private Drive, No Tresspassing, Violators will be shot, survivors will be prosecuted"....I have security camera's outside and inside the house endless loop recorded 24hrs a day along with an elaborate alarm system."

What, no Ma Deuce? :twisted:

SpecialEd

· #9 · Aug 12, 2004

LIProgun said:
What, no Ma Deuce? :twisted:

Now that would be cool Even if you just worked up a couple of fake ones to mount along the brick wall... :lol:

mikegunner

Discussion Starter · #10 · Aug 12, 2004

LIProgun said:
What, no Ma Deuce? :twisted:

Oh, if I ever win the powerball lottery, I have plans!!!

First call would be to the fence company to install a 10' fence on the perimeter topped with barbed/razor wire. From there, the moons the limit!! <G>

9jeeps

· #11 · Sep 11, 2004

mikegunner

Good Gawd :shock: Surely you jest :?:

aardvark6013

· #12 · Oct 9, 2004

Better to have and not need, than to need and not have.
Larry

SLCDave

· #13 · Oct 14, 2004

Don't forget the sharks with lazers on their heads....

SpecialEd

· #14 · Oct 14, 2004

And a kennel of Pit bulls infected with AIDS!

mikegunner

Discussion Starter · #15 · Oct 14, 2004

SpecialEd said:
And a kennel of Pit bulls infected with AIDS!

Do you know what is scarier than a Pit Bull with AIDS???

The person who gave it to the dog!

SpecialEd

· #16 · Oct 14, 2004

Ewwww!

Rob West

· #17 · Oct 22, 2004

Where's a frikken laser when you frikken need one?

1 - 17 of 17 Posts

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