When I was a teen, our pastor was born & raised in Texas. He once told me a story about a good friend of his (now that I think about it, I kinda wonder about that qualification) who got hooked on the then current fast draw craze. I don't recall after decades if he was using a cross draw or an appendix rig for his .22 revolver.
At any rate, he was slow on the draw and quick on the trigger once and slipped a round through the genital area. Missing everything of supreme importance but the ......uh......murse (passed under one object, between two others). He spent time in the hospital in a position similar to that of an OBGYN exam. After a week or so of various medical types coming in, reading the chart, gazing under the sheet and exiting, laughing, he never did quick draw again.
We have a doctor here in town who works in one of the local ER's and also administers FAA flight physicals. One day he was building an outdoor playhouse for his young daughter while wearing scrubs. As he was using a ½" drill to bore a hole in some pressure-treated lumber, the drill bit grabbed the front of his scrubs and wrapped them up until the family jewels became involved. The resulting lacerations, while not permanently damaging, were evidently gushing blood at an impressive rate, and applying pressure was complicated by the fact that everything was wrapped fairly tightly around a big drill bit.
He yelled for his wife, and as she arrived on scene she was horrified to find him standing in a pool of blood, trying to untangle some of her favorite things from a power tool. She immediately yelled for him to get in the car.
"Where are we going?" he asked.
"The ER...where do you think?" she replied.
"Oh no we're not", he replied. "I work with those people. Get me some scissors and towels and see if we have a suture kit someplace."
Eventually she convinced him that saving his manhood trumped saving face, but he wasn't at all happy about the barely contained sense of hilarity among his colleagues.
I was in Dallas over the weekend & was told that one of the local thugs in "Deep Ellem" (Friday night) somehow or other shot himself in the toucas while trying to do "Mexican Carry" with a (reportedly stolen) double-action S&W .357MAG revolver. = The bullet went through the top of one side of his rear end at an angle & exited out the bottom of the other side. = UGLY flesh wound.
I heard that the thug told one of the Dallas PD officers that the staff/patients LAUGHING AT him was WORSE than the shooting incident.
(He was arrested by DPD for having 3 outstanding warrants.)
As a cop symp, one side of me wants to L-O-F'ing-L... as someone who HAS shot himself in the ass... well, the laughter is tempered. (Granted, mine was only a 6mm airsoft pellet, but it still smarts every now and again when I think about the memory of my only ND...)
I often tell welders to take the tension off the drive rolls or simply cut power to the wire feeder when they're changing contact tips or somesuch that involves handling the front end of a MIG gun.
Same scenario occurred last week at a local muffler manufacturing plant; I was setting up some new equipment and dialing it in when the operator decided he needed to change tips. I reached over to take the drive rolls offline and he told me he'd "been doing this for twenty years" and that it wasn't necessary.
He promptly ran 2 inches of .035 316 SS through his hand.
Maybe he was nervous because the plant manager was in attendance.
A favorite NYPD story concerned a young punk who robbed a candy store.
He used a double barrel 12 gauge shotgun cut off at the front and rear until it was not much bigger then a pistol.
After taking the $10.00 cash register receipts he pistol whipped the 73 year old woman who was running the store.
As he swaggered out the door he shoved the shotgun in his waistband and had an accidental discharge.
Thereby turning himself into and early trans-sexual without the benefit of the normal surgery and hormone treatments.
He got a lot of laughter from the cops who had to guard him while he was in the hospital.
The doctors and nurses gave him the same care they gave everyone..... just not as gentle or respectful.
Later stories indicate that he didn't have a good stay in prison.