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1. Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse-kick-related deaths have increased 13,000 percent.
2. On his birthday, Chuck Norris randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.
3. Chuck Norris mistakenly sent Jesus a birthday card on Dec. 25. Jesus was too scared to correct Chuck Norris and to this day Dec. 25 is known as Jesus's birthday.
4. Chuck Norris was born three months premature, because he had asses to kick.
5. Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb.
6. And on the first day Chuck Norris was created ... and he took care of everything else later that afternoon.
7. Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are known today as giraffes.
8. Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
9. Chuck Norris drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls.
10. Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.
11. James Cameron wanted Chuck Norris to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.
12. Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.
13. Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
14. Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.
15. The role of Alf in the hit 80s TV show was played by Chuck Norris's penis.
16. Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun.
17. Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
18. According to Einstein's theory of relativity, Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday.
19. Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

And 51 more...
 

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Chuck Norris is famous for his character, Walker.

Chuck Norris now has to USE a walker.

"The corrective lens of the Ranger are upon you!"
 

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It's funny how so many people of "education" tend to denigrate Mr. Norris, and his shows/films, as beneath art. Yet, the following he developed has kept him on the air for decades longer than more "sophisticated" actors. Why? Because you knew that the good guys would win, and that's much more entertaining than the anti-hero/troubled hero that rules today's "entertainment".

Chuck is the Clint Eastwood of B movies.

I'm glad to see him recognized here.
 

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WaltGraham said:
15. The role of Alf in the hit 80s TV show was played by Chuck Norris's penis.
That one gave me the biggest laugh I've had in a very troubled month. Thanks so much for posting this list. :thumbsup:
 

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Snake45 said:
WaltGraham said:
15. The role of Alf in the hit 80s TV show was played by Chuck Norris's penis.
That one gave me the biggest laugh I've had in a very troubled month. Thanks so much for posting this list. :thumbsup:
Glad to be of service; maybe Chuck needs to have a talk with your month... 8)
 
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