It was regrettably not my privilege to serve, old friend, though I've heard plenty of similar war stories from friends who did--and have a doozy from my college days involving a jar of collected human flatulence that somehow found its way into being unsealed in a real stinker prof's office... somehow somebody stole it from my locker in the computer lab, and the damn thing left the adjunct/part-time faculty office portable uninhabitable for three days.
Half the faculty told me they wished they coulda seen the look on Stinkeress's face when she cracked the rotten egg... she was let go at the end of that quarter.
Hey, it's not MY fault that she liked the same kind of mason jar for her homemade fragrances that I was using to support a pre-med friend's science project. Do you have any idea how much time and work it took to harvest her ONE jar of farts? O.O