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A London lawyer is on holiday in Ireland. He runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by an Irish cop. He thinks that he is smarter than the cop because he is an English lawyer and is certain that he has a better education then any jock cop. He
decides to prove this to himself and have some fun at the Irish cop's expense!



The Irish officer says, "License and registration, please."



The lawyer says, "What for?"



The officer responds. "Ye didnae come to a complete stop at the stop sign."



Applying his own logic, the lawyer says, "I slowed down, and no one was coming."



The cop says, "Ye still didnae come to a complete stop. License and registration, please."



Testing the officer’s patience, the lawyer says, "What's the difference?"



The Irish cop says, "The difference is, ye huvte come to complete stop; that's the law. License and registration, please! And I’ll not be asking ye again."



The lawyer persists, "If you can show me the legal difference between slow down and stop, I'll give you my license and registration and you give me the ticket. If not, you let me go and don't give me the ticket."



The officer says, "Sounds fair. Exit your vehicle, sir."



The lawyer opens his door and, as soon as his feet touch the pavement, the Irish cop takes out his baton and starts beating the living shit out of him.

The Irishman says, “Tell me, daeye want me to stop, or just slow doon?"

-
 

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Proven fact: a well-done Irish (or Scottish) accent makes any joke funnier. It's a "humor (humour) multiplier."

This one is priceless.
 

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Thanks you for that, Bearcat! That gave me a much needed laugh!

And Cap'n is right.

But it's even harder to write an Irish accent well. Here's to ya!:cheers:
 

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Here in States, a rather large country that I have traveled extensively, I can only come up with about eight regional accents: Boston/New England, New York/North Jersey, Philly/Delaware Valley, Appalachia, Near South, Deep South, Texas, and Everybody Else.

The gal in this video has nailed seventeen distinct accents on the two small islands of the United Kingdom. She's quite talented, entertaining, and kinda cute:

 

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Here in States, a rather large country that I have traveled extensively, I can only come up with about eight regional accents: Boston/New England, New York/North Jersey, Philly/Delaware Valley, Appalachia, Near South, Deep South, Texas, and Everybody Else.
Apparently you didn't get up around Wisconsin/Minnesota. Or see the movie Fargo. ;) Or get to Chicago.
 

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Apparently you didn't get up around Wisconsin/Minnesota. Or see the movie Fargo. ;) Or get to Chicago.
Oh, yaahh. The North DakOta accent is one of a kind, yahh sure. OOff dah, I won't ever ferget that, by golly. Pass me the lutefisk and lefsa! :D

And that young lady seemed to have nailed those accents, to my ears anyway.
 

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You know, right after I posted I remembered the Chicago accent, which is really kind of a Great Lakes thing, since you hear it over in Buffalo, too.

Can't believe I missed Minnesota/Dakota, since my wife's family is from there and my FIL does it perfectly.

Any others I left out?
 

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Well it's very localized, but Lousiana Cajun (think those Gator Hunters on TV) is very distinctive and not at all traditional southern
 

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I'm kind of on the fence about Cajun...is it an accent of American english, or is it a lingering accent of a foreign language, like the accents of native Yiddish, Spanish, Chinese, or Japanese speakers? I honestly don't know. Since many Cajuns still speak both Acadian French and English, I kind of suspect the latter.

I did come up with one possible addition: Brooklynese is to New York as Cockney is to London.
 

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I love Fargo... I have a good friend at Federal who is from there and he was truly offended by the movie.... I suspect it hit too close to home. :duh:
 

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To All,

And then there's the VERY distinctive NEW ORLEANS accent that sounds (to "strangers" = Anyone not born/raised in LA) like "Brooklynese". = Having been stationed in NOLA for 3 years, I can usually tell which neighborhood that a "speaker" is from.

yours, sw
 
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