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Discussion Starter #1
I heard what I thought was a funny joke.

Atlanta Tower: "Saudi Air 511 -- You are cleared to land on runway 9R."
Saudi Air: "Thank you Atlanta . Acknowledge cleared to land on infidel's runway 9R - Allah be Praised."
Atlanta Tower: " Iran Air 711 - You are cleared to land on runway 27L."
Iran Air: "Thank you Atlanta . We are cleared to land on infidel's runway 27L. -Allah is Great."
Pause....
Saudi Air: ATLANTA TOWER - ATLANTA TOWER !"
Atlanta Tower: "Go ahead Saudi Air 511.."
Saudi Air: "YOU HAVE CLEARED BOTH OUR AIRCRAFT FOR THE SAME RUNWAY GOING IN OPPOSITE DIRECTIONS.
WE ARE ON A COLLISION COURSE . . . . .
INSTRUCTIONS, PLEASE!"

Atlanta Tower: "Well bless your hearts. And praise Jesus. Y'all go on ahead now and tell Allah "hey" for us."
 

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Now that thar is funny...
 

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forgive me , but the runway numbers don't work in my opinion- I don't know about the rest for the world, but ours are set by compass readings- ie 16 is the north , and 34 is south- shouldn't it be 9/20 or so? this set of figures has one runway crossing the other at an angle
 

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forgive me , but the runway numbers don't work in my opinion- I don't know about the rest for the world, but ours are set by compass readings- ie 16 is the north , and 34 is south- shouldn't it be 9/20 or so? this set of figures has one runway crossing the other at an angle
Picky picky picky picky.....:rolleyes:

I bet you complain when you watch a TV drama and someone cocks a Glock, too....:grumble:

;)
 

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damned rights- a pilot or atc picks up on those things in milliseconds- our lives depend on it- to get the joke to work right, you have to change one of the runways to the reciprocal- ie 180 degrees from the original
 

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I just liked the use of the southern term "...well, bless your hearts...). :cryinlaugh:
 

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Ok, this guy named Bob moves out to the Yukon to get away from it all; lead a satisfying, if spartan existence if you will. He's been there 10 years with nary a human contact, just the critters and the great outdoors for company.

One day as Yukon Bob is surveying the next ridge over from him, he spies a plume of smoke. Intrigued since he's had the only fire around these parts, he hikes over to investigate. There he finds another cabin similar to his and another rugged individualist much like himself.

Friend he tells the new guy, It's good to make your acquaintance and I'd like to invite you to a party, but I've got to tell you, there'll be some drinking going on.

Good enough says the new guy; I can go for some drinking.

Yukon Bob: Ok, but I've got to tell you, there's probably going to be some fightin' going on.

New guy: I can go for some fightin' too.

Yukon Bob: Fair enough, but I've got to tell you, there's more than likely going to be some sex happening too.

New guy: Well, I can sure manage some of that, but tell me, what should I wear; I've never been to a party like that.

Yukon Bob: Don't matter much, it's just going to be you and me...
 

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Discussion Starter #10
The game warden happened across an old grizzled man in the woods. The old man was roasting some kind of fowl on a stick over an open fire
" Say old timer asked the game warden what kind of bird are you roasting there?"
"Peregrine Falcon." The oldman replied.
"That's illegal I'll have to take you to jail." Said the warden.
"Oh please sir don't do that. I've been living in the woods for twenty years I had no idea it was wrong."
" Well under the circumstances I'm going to let you off with a warning. Out of curosity what does a Falcon taste like?"
"It's kind of like a cross between a spotted owl and a Bald eagle." Says the old man
 

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As I understand it, runway 27 would be west to east, and runway 9 would be east to west*. 27 minus 9 is 18 (180*), so they are in fact reciprocal.

*Or maybe it's exactly the other way around. I get confused sometimes.
 

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don't matter much, it's just going to be you and me[/B]...
I think I heard banjo music playing and could smell the aroma of frying spam while I read this...IJS
 

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It took us a while to find a member that had actually landed on that runway going both directions.
 

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To All:

TRUE STORY TIME.

Right at the end of the war in RVN a "multi-national peace commission" came to Saigon to "oversee the disengagement of opposing forces". - One of those people was a Brigadier General from (then Communist) Poland.
Before the arrival of "the commission", someone placed the following notice on the bulletin board at the local officer's club:
ALL PERSONNEL ARE HEREBY ORDERED TO REFRAIN FROM TELLING "POLOCK JOKES", ONCE THE POLISH DELEGATION ARRIVES.

When the Polish officers arrived, the BG found the notice still tacked onto the bulletin board & inquired, "What is a Polock Joke?"

An old US Army Aviator & CW4 (who had no career to protect) said, "General I don't know how to explain it to you but I'll tell you one."

The BG said, "OK. Tell me."

The Army aviator said, "There was this Polish Navy Captain who died & as a last request wanted to be buried at sea. Eight sailors drowned trying to dig his grave."

The Polish BG stood there speechless for a moment & then said, "How do you dig a hole in the ocean?"

That comment "brought the house down".
(A friend of mine was LOL so hard that he choked & spit his beer halfway across the bar.)

yours, sw
 

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Discussion Starter #17
I had a friend who was a diplomat in Poland. One of his colleagues was having trouble with people breaking into his residence via some french doors. They would jimmy the central bolt through a crack in the center, so he hired some Poles to but some more bolts on them, at the top. When they were done he had brand new bolts at the top of each door, on the outside.
 
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