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Premium Member
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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
knock, knock, knock, knock!!!!!

THERE IT WAS AGAIN!!! Yesterday afternoon, enjoying some true R&R, work is going better, some stresses of the day getting relieved perhaps, maybe for the long term, but that's still to be determined. But I had the first of my three days up at the house every weekend, some work on the typing stand, but not due until next week, enjoying rest, food, good bourbon, the atmosphere of the country, away from the big bad city, but . . .

knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock!!!

I had heard that noise outside my basement window on two or three previous occasions, but sounds carry out here and I knew it could be a neighbor close in proximity driving a stake into a garden layout somewhere. But it always sounded like something small, like a child, knocking something against my house.

HEYYYYYY, DON'T WE HAVE WOODPECKERS UP HERE!?!!?? Bad enough I might lose this house, or come within a whisker of it, let The Lord's Will be done, but woodpeckers too??!?!?!?!!??? Don't I have enough problems? But I couldn't see anything, like maybe it was a woodpecker high up in a tree. But it SOUNDED like it was pecking away at my house!!! So, why not get up off your extremely trim and fit nearly 48 year old ass and check it out, SON!!!

Good point, I thought. I stepped out my front door. The noise was louder. I looked all around, up in the trees, then up and directly to the left at the eaves, fascia boards, whatever they are under the roof. Yes, in the corner, there was a &%#[email protected][email protected]##XX%**&&$#***!!! WOODPECKER PECKING AWAY AT MY HOUSE!!! I made some noises and finally he caught sight of me and flew away. I looked and saw that he had chipped away the paint in about four or five places around that area, two inches wide in each spot.

HEY, DO YOU MIND?!?!??!??? IF I GET TO KEEP THIS PLACE, I ALREADY KNOW WHAT NEEDS DOING, THANK YOU!!!! PLEASE DON'T ADD TO MY #*@*%&%&@@$!!!!$(*x)%*$&$#&!!! BUDGET, PLEASE!!!!!

AREN'T YOU GUYS SUPPOSED TO BE PECKING AWAY AT TREES?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!!!

I've got five 60 foot evergreens on my property, a dogwood, a maple or something in that family, not to mention over an acre of woods in back of my property, everybody elses property and trees all around, and . . .

THIS #@$!#@$#[email protected]%$#@[email protected]$$ IS PECKING AWAY AT MY HOUSE!!!!

:tomcat: :cop: :biggun: :soap: :2guns: :rnr: :evil: :uzi:

Now I'm wondering how many times he's been here, how much damage he's done to how many areas of my house, and how many of his friends will be moving in when he makes enough holes for them to take up residence.

I tell ya I get no respect. It's times like this I think I've got Nancy Kerrigan Syndrome.
 

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Site Founder
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Just invite the darn thing in for a drink. Maybe even a cigar. After that the worst thing that happens is he likes the booze and cigars. Then he may start pecking on your humidor and shot glass. :wink:

If he doesn't like it, he'll think you are a terrible host and go peck on the neighbor's house. It's worth a shot. :mrgreen:
 

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Premium Member
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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
Well, of course, I was hoping you'd say something like that. Hey, we've got to take this show on the road. I can easily be your straight man if we keep setting each other up that smooth. :D
 

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I have an idea Bloof, why not get yourself some fake wood wallpaper or something like that and wrap it around a cement post?

Wait til the little pecker sinks his beak in that... :twisted:
 
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