[csmkersh]

Why the Man Rules

At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down. Here's the guys' side of the story. I must admit, it's pretty good.

We always hear " the rules " from the female side... Now here are the rules from the male side.


These are our rules! Please note.. these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports -- it's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.


1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done, not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials..

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topic's as baseball or motor sports.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.


Pass this to as many men as you can to give them a laugh. Pass this to as many women as you can to give them a bigger laugh.

 

[SpecialEd]

csmkersh,

LOL.

yours, sw

 

[CaptainGyro]

If a man hears the same question three times, he's giving the wrong answer.

 

[William R. Moore]

About colors.....I passed up a car color I really liked because the seat color was described on the website as "taupe". I happened to see a car of that color when picking up my new car and the seats didn't look any different than the black seats in my car. I still don't know what "taupe" is.

True story: I was once sent to a farm to pick up a horse, the only ID I had was that the horse "had blue eyes". After looking a bunch of horses in the eye, I naturally picked out the wrong one and drove off with it. Once someone ID'd the correct horse and I delivered it , I asked why they hadn't told me it was the only GREY horse on the place. I believe I mentioned that I recognized the following: black, white, yellow (palimino), grey and brown. If paint, specify white/brown or white/black.

I think I dimly recall that list from maybe 30 years ago. I believe it was put out as counterpoint to a list of things to look for in a man in Cosmo. One of those was something like, "He brings home something nice in ecru-plus something for you".

 

[csmkersh]

If you put "taupe" in your search engine you most likely still won't know what color it is. Mine brought back close to a dozen clips of various shades of brown.

 

[WaltGraham]

My wife was initially stoic.

But then she laughed.

I get to sleep inside tonight.

 

[SpecialEd]

William R. Moore,

Taupe is TAN with a "pinkish" TINGE. = Taupe was the color of WWII Army Officer's trousers & the current color of Texas A&M University Senior's trousers, too.
(That's why that dress uniform was/is called: PINKS & GREENS.)

Note: It is quite likely that a similar Officer's uniform will return to the US Army, soon.

yours, sw

 

[csmkersh]

Pinks and greens with a Sam Brown belt were great looking unlike those bus driver greens they replaced the Ike jacket with.

 

[WaltGraham]

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes ?

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Nothing... you already told her twice.

 

[CaptainGyro]

You're a renaissance man, Walt.

 

[SpecialEd]

To All,

As the late "Coco" Chanel used to say, "If you have to ask someone if an outfit makes you look fat, it's either the wrong outfit for your shape OR you ARE too fat."

yours, sw

 

[WaltGraham]

You're a renaissance man, Walt.

That's not that word Kathy used, but thanks.

 

[SpecialEd]

sgmkersh; All,

You might get a chuckle out of a famous comment by Christian Dior, the famous fashion designer, who was asked to make a BRIGHT YELLOW evening gown for a wealthy lady from NYC in women's size 66. ====> "My dear lady, when Almighty God made butterflies, he made them in bright colors BUT in His great wisdom, when he made elephants he made them all in gray."

yours, sw

 

[bearcat6]

A few years ago I used to go to the YMCA pool for some exercise. One day I was in the hot tub soaking with some really large ladies, they were discussing some of there favorite stores, one asked " Have you guys found Massive Designs yet?" "why no, what's that? It's a store that has clothes with labels that would normally be an 18 that says 3." It really makes you feel good to be wearing a smaller size." No bull, this was a real conversation.