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Lawrence Livermore Laboratories has discovered the heaviest element
yet known to science.

The new element, Governmentium (Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant
neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons,
giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together
by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of
lepton-like particles called peons. Since Governmentium has no
electrons, it is inert; however, it can be detected, because it
impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact.
A tiny amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would
normally take less than a second, to take from 4 days to 4 years to
complete. Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2 to 6 years. It
does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a
notion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.
In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since
each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming
isodopes. This characteristic of morons promotion leads some
scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons'
reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred
to as critical morass.
When catalysed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an
element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it
has half as many peons but twice as many morons.

-Anonymous...
 

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Of course, Governmentium and Administratium both produce copious amounts of Bullshittium... making them unique in nature in that they both produce and are produced from the same substance.
 
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