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Famous 18th Century painter, 19th Century opera star and 20th Century silent film actor Porque Rohste was found dead in his oven early Wednesday afternoon in his posh Yupper East Side town house in New York City, where he had lived for the past 63 years since quitting the film business after an unsuccessful try at "talkies" during the 30's. A Medical Examiner's report said that Rohste died of "excessive exposure to extreme heat."

[Editor's Note: 450 degrees ain't exactly winter time, baby.]

Rohste, born in 1554, burst upon the entertainment scene in Italy during the year 1727 at the age of 173, when his famous self portrait was unveiled. Entitled "De Udder Whyte Meete" it set the stage for a dramatic career as a triple threat in the entertainment industry. When Rohste learned of the tragic death of his dear friend Peter Potamus in 1989, he sighed "alas, the last of the great heavyweight entertainers is gone." :lol:

No Slim Jim by any means, Rohste's own weight varied throughout his adult life from 603 pounds to a rumored high of 1,274!!! Recently he had slimmed down to 872 pounds after going on the Atkins plan, and had been reported to be "in excellent organic health." Police officials refused to confirm whether or not an apple had been found lodged in his mouth when he was discovered dead yesterday afternoon.
 

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I've said it before, and I'll say it again....boy, you just ain't right!
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
 

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:shock: A subsequent obituary notes that Rohste is survived by his great niece, Duzzy O’ Connell - also retired from, both, the silver screen and publishing. Curiously O’ Connell, also, met with limited success in each of her several career endeavors: acting, publishing, public speaking, and entertainment. Her most remarkable achievement, to date, appears to be the irreversible bankruptcy of the formerly well established Way Mart Corporation – the failure of which has been largely attributed to O’ Connell’s frequent media blunders and subsequently unpopular product endorsements.

Unlike her famous uncle, O’ Connell has been seen on numerous occasions with, among other things, an apple in her mouth! O’ Connell, currently a newly wed, resides outside of Los Angeles on the West Coast where she and her new bride plan to set up housekeeping. Rohste, who died intestate, appears bereft of any close family ties. Late today a media delegate announced that O’ Connell, also, has no plans to attend the East Coast funeral which will be held this coming Friday at 1:00 o’clock on the loading dock of the Salvation Army Shelter in lower Manhattan. Internment will occur, shortly thereafter, at the only area facility capable of handling the remains: The Dough-Boy Fat Rendering plant in, nearby, Port Newark. :wink:
 

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:D Ah, yes; but it, also, helps to have a full litre bottle of Booker's, 'Old True Barrel' Bourbon along with a drinking problem! :mrgreen:
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
Well, if you have to have a drinking problem, might as well be with the good stuff, although with something as strong as Booker's, your drinking problem might be rather short lived!!! :lol:
 

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I've read a lot of threads on a lot of gun boards. I think this thread qualifies as one of the strangest. :drunk:
 
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