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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Yo all (and Dean);

Just a note to say that I've come out of my long stupor and finally signed up for this board.

Feel free to bitch/whine/make suggestions about my teevee show, SHOOTING GALLERY [yes, as a matter of fact, that is a blatant commercial announcement] on The Outdoor Channel or anything you read by me, which I probably made up anyway, as I am a graduate of the Dean Speir School of Creative Gunwriting.

I'm open to suggestions from anyone except Charlie Petty, who frightens me.

Also, would like to invite all you zombies-even you, Charlie-to The Outdoor Channel party at SHOT on Saturday night...yes, that conflicts with Glock, but I suggest you eat at Glock and drink at TOC! Come by the booth, say I sent you and get an invitation.

Also also, Dean, I got the Absolute Last Incarnation of Rex the Wonder Gun back from Mike LaRocca recently. It features the only thing left from Rex I, the slide stop. Immortality, of sorts...

Michael B
 

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Bane o'my existance! Good to see you here. Torpors this time of year are quite understandable. (But wait, yours has been the better part of this Millennium, hasn't it?)
MBaneACP said:
Also, would like to invite all you zombies-even you, Charlie-to The Outdoor Channel party at SHOT on Saturday night...yes, that conflicts with Glock...
Um, that will not be a conflict for me, I can assure you!

Just don't let Clyde too close to the exciting The Outdoor Channel hors d'oeuvres in case I'm running a little late, okay!

Glad to hear about Rex IX... or whatever version this is.
 
G

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Also, would like to invite all you zombies-even you, Charlie-to The Outdoor Channel party at SHOT on Saturday night.
Hmmm, I don't leave until late Saturday night... and by that time I'd surely qualify as a Zombie. Though I don't get the Outdoor Channel, don't know you, and can't remember reading anything by you I can't pass up the chance for free Guinness (TOC will have Guinness at their party won't they?)... Dean can vouch for me. :roll:
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
Schmidt...

There are many people who will tell you that not knowing me, not getting The Outdoor Channel and not having read anything I wrote is a DEFINITE plus! Those same people will tell you that knowing Dean is a definite MINUS!

I was running one of the National Shooting Sports Foundation's media seminars outside of NYC last year, and one of our invited journalists came up to the group of instructors and said, "We have friends in common. I know Dean Speir." On cue, all the instructors broke out laughing.

Seriously (well, as serious as one can get on Thursday morning), I have moved mostly in handgun circles. I was active in the launch of USPSA back in the Dawn Of Time--I created and launched FRONT SIGHT magazine, ran big matches, etc. In the Gun Universe, I've written for just about everybody...G&A, ST, AMERICAN HANDGUNNER, HANDGUNS, GUN WORLD, SHOT Business, SHOTGUN NEWS COMBAT HANDGUNS, fill in the blank. I co-authored for John Shaw the first book on practical shooting training, YOU CAN'T MISS, and for Bill Wilson THE COMBAT .45 HANDGUN. I conceived and still run the NSSF media education program, which is now considered to be the most successful media initiative ever from the firearms industry. I also occasionally consult with USA Shooting and various firearms companies. My own TRAIL SAFE book, on self-defense and decision-making in high risk environment (based on my own somewhat stupid career in very high risk sports) has got to be the only book favorably reviewed in both BACKPACKER and HANDGUNS and has been used as a text for special forces/SWAT trainers on how the mind functions under potentially lethal stress.

In the Real World, I mostly write books and magazine articles, although The Outdoor Channel is now taking up most of my time. Go buy my first novel, ALL NIGHT RADIO (Amazon), which was considered "too gunny" for NYC publishing houses. Sex, violence and country music...what's left?

I'm also cute as a button and smart as a whip!

Michael B

PS: Guinness works...I was once editor of a beer magazine (please B'rer Fox, not the briar patch!), and I never tasted anything I liked as much as a black-and-tan. Alaska Golden alt comes pretty close.
 

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Michael Bane wrote:

Guinness works...I was once editor of a beer magazine (please B'rer Fox, not the briar patch!), and I never tasted anything I liked as much as a black-and-tan. Alaska Golden alt comes pretty close.
Give Dos Equis Amber, Modelo ***** and Sol a try some time.
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
I'm a big fan of both ***** and Dos Equis, but I think of them as "drinkin' beers," Mexican dinners and hot days (bizarrely, last time I was in Mexico City, the only place I could find Dos Equis was at the Pizza Hut--all the rest went tot he U.S.!

The Alaska beers are...poetry.

mb
 

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Aw, Jeez, Schmit… how could you go and give someone like Bane a blank check for his celebrated ego to run amok on the Forum?!?

Still, he missed an important item on his gunzine C.V., that being the Wolfe Publications column (Handloader, Michael?) more than a decade ago, and through which I was first introduced to Rex I, the original Wonder Gun which was the spiritual progenitor of Rod, the Wonder Pistol, and so credited in the inaugural report of same. It was, as I recollect, a well-traveled SIG-Sauer P220.

And by all means do beg, borrow, pilfer or, as an absolute last resort, actually purchase… has it been remaindered yet?… a copy of All Night Radio. "Sex, violence and country music," indeed! Women with high tech race guns… I read it on the aeroplane trip back from last year's SHOT Show, at the end of which flight they had to threaten me with the local SWAT team to pry me out of the forward lavatory! (I proclaim it to be the gunperson's first great stroke book of the new Millennium! And that's purposefully a gender-neutral appellation!)

However, and this is a huge caveat, note that on the Amazon.com page it sez:
Customers who bought titles by Michael Bane also bought titles by these authors:
  • Voth [/*:m:1wqh2ezr]
  • Mark Johnson [/*:m:1wqh2ezr]
  • Robert N. Rossier [/*:m:1wqh2ezr]
  • Al Franken[/*:m:1wqh2ezr]
Al Franken? Freakin' Al FRANKEN?!? Bane, those Hawaiian shirts and the rarified atmosphere of your section of Colorado, must have done something weird to you that you're not even aware of!!!

Schmit, we… thee and me and Li'l Lace Pants might make three… will go to Bane's bash arm-in-arm-in-arm. Gaston won't let me into his gala no mo' 'cause Jeff Hoffman and I drank up all his Grand Marnier at the '96 one in Dallas. But we'll get spiff'd up (not to the extent that you 'n' RAJ did when squiring Uncle Jeff around the Carolinas a couple of years ago) and make a grand impression on the rest of his guests, all seven of'em, and that's counting Clyde Bowker twice!
 
G

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And by all means do beg, borrow, pilfer or, as an absolute last resort, actually purchase… has it been remaindered yet? … a copy of All Night Radio . "Sex, violence and country music," indeed! Women with high tech race guns… I read it on the aeroplane trip back from last year's SHOT Show
Sooooooo, IAW what you recommend, do you still have that copy you read and can bring it for me. 8)

thee and me and Li'l Lace Pants might make three… will go to Bane's bash arm-in-arm-in-arm.
Tis a date! After which I can add "Dated Dean Speir" under "Slept with Massad Ayoob" on my resume. :twisted:
 

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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
Al Franken????
Al Franken????

Isn't he a Minion of Satan? Michael Moore's handmaiden? Well, it just goes to show my *broad* appeal as an author--all six people who bought ANR loved it! Maybe I'll become a Democratic Presidential candidate, except that I'm allergic to argyle.

I will confess that, yes, I was once the handgun columnist for HANDLOADER, and that, yes, I was fired for one of my columns, which outlined how to carry a concealed weapon on the beach, as I was hanging out in Key West with some buds of mine from Jimmy Buffett's band at the time. And when in Key West, matter of fact, I *always* carry a gun on the beach. The column was (supposed to be) slightly tongue-in-cheek, but I apparently failed to get the tongue far enough in, as the editor called in near hysterics and asked me, "What sort of lunatic carries a gun on the beach?"

"A live one?" I opined, which was apprently the wrong answer, resutling in my being voted off the island. The editor also objected to a reference of being heeled in a *bar,* which was a cultural faux pas on my part. I failed to realize that in Moosehead, Wyoming, or wherever the magazine was published, there is a clear difference between *bars* and *restaurants,* whereas in Key West, even the laundromats serve liquor (and, yes, I was/am aware of the Draconian provision in some state CCW laws regarding establishments serving liquor). Somehow, I survived both Key West and the firing.

It did, however, point out to me the difference between people who *own* guns (and often write about them) and people who *carry* guns. I am reminded of a moment at the SHOT Show in New Orleans a couple of years back, when me and my pal Scott Smith were about to be wined and dined at an expensive N'Awlins' restaurant by some of the Powers-That-Be in the Gun Universe. So Scott says to me, "You need a gun? I got spares." I say, "Nope, I bought along a Commander." The P-T-Bs stop dead in their tracks. "You have a gun?" one asks me. I nod; Scott nods. "Like, on your person right now?" I nod; Scott nods. "You're *carrying* guns? To dinner?" Well, I said, isn't that the point of this whole thing? I realize now I *should* have said, "Guns gotta eat, just like buzzards," but I missed the opportunity. While they were still shaking their heads in dismay, Scott says, "If you guys need it, I got an AR in the trunk..." We never did get that dinner, but Scott and I had red beans and rice at some place where a really attractive woman at the next table invited us to her winery in Napa because she thought we were, "Entertaining."

As well as heavily armed.

Michael B.

PS: I promise I'll have my blog up soon and stop doing this.

PPS: Ego? Me? Dean, I'm shocked to my core.
 

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I realize now I *should* have said, "Guns gotta eat, just like buzzards," but I missed the opportunity.
Don't worry about it, it would've gone over their heads.
I want to write a book titled Everything I Need to Know I Learned From Clint Eastwood Movies, but I suspect I'd be hearing from copyright lawyers, Dean, or both :shock: , about intellectual property.
 

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MBaneACP said:
So Scott says to me, "You need a gun? I got spares." I say, "Nope, I bought along a Commander." The P-T-Bs stop dead in their tracks. "You have a gun?" one asks me. I nod; Scott nods. "Like, on your person right now?" I nod; Scott nods. "You're *carrying* guns? To dinner?" Well, I said, isn't that the point of this whole thing? I realize now I *should* have said, "Guns gotta eat, just like buzzards," but I missed the opportunity. While they were still shaking their heads in dismay, Scott says, "If you guys need it, I got an AR in the trunk..."
Geez, Dean, how is it that you never introduced me to this guy before? I mean, now I'm really really close to regretting not going to SHOT. [As I explained to Dean, I received my official invite to SHOT, but had to pass as I already had a long-overdue vacation planned for that week.]
 

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Discussion Starter · #16 ·
I did this bit motivational talk up in Canada a couple of years back, the the people who hired me took me out for this ritzy dinner afterwards. I ended up seated next to this nice Canadian lady who didn't have a clue what to say to me. After a couple of false starts, she finally says, "So, do you watch a lot of television down there in the States?"

"Yep," I said. "I certainly do."

"Really?" she said. "And what do you like to watch?"

"Buffy the Vampire Slayer and the World Wrestling Federation," I replied.

"My goodness gracious why?"

"Well," I said, "everything I know about life I learned from watching those shows."

"Oh?" she said, looking a little worried.

"Yes m'aam," I said. "If you can't beat the crap out of it, drive a stake through its heart."

"Oh my god," she said. "You are *so* American!"

Michael B
 

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Done!

Ok, I just upped my DirectTV bill by $1.99 to get TOC and be able to watch "The Shooting Gallery"... I do it in part hoping that I'll contribute to Mr. Bane's making enough money to take the needed time out to finish "Five to Go".

You're killing me here, Mr. B!!!

See you Sunday night,

Nemo
 

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Discussion Starter · #19 ·
I finally got through a particularly tough sex scene in FIVE TO GO, and I'm getting back into the rhythm of writing on it pretty much every day. I suspect it's going to be a substantially longer book than ALL NIGHT RADIO (unless I find a really brutal editor to whip it into shape!), but I'd really like to wrap it up by mid-year. I woke up at 5AM this morning worrying about my character, Kashi, who--although she doesn't know yet--is getting ready to go through a really crummy crisis of faith. I need to get her a good AR.

Michael B

PS: CHARLIE PETTY!!! Run! Hide! Don't let him get you into his Ransom Rest! Hi Charlie...see you in Vegas!
 
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