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>> A large group of Isis fighters in Iraq are moving down a road when they hear a voice call from behind a sand dune: "One Marine is better than ten Isis fighters". The Isis commander quickly orders 10 of best men over the dune where a gun battle breaks out and continues for a few minutes, then silence.
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>> The voice once again calls out: "One Marine is better than one hundred Isis 'S.O.B.'s'". Furious, the Isis commander sends his next best 100 troops over the dune and instantly a huge gun fight commences. After 10 minutes of battle, again silence.
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>> The voice calls out again: "One Marine is better than a thousand Isis fighters." The enraged Isis commander musters 1,000 fighters and sends them to the other side of the dune. Rifle fire, machine guns, grenades, rockets and cannon fire ring out as a terrible battle is fought ..... then silence.
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>> Eventually, one badly wounded Isis fighter crawls back over the dune and with his dying words tells his commander, "Don't send any more men ... it's a trap. There's two of them."
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
It's new to me...thanks Walt!
Courtesy of our friend Richard that you met at GS.

Here's one I'll bet you've heard:

A MARINE SHORT STORY

Our Skipper was fearless. His name was Mike Gehring. Our General gave a collective "Ass Chewing" to all. In fact he went on so long; his audience was getting pissed, instead of getting the "Message". Lots of groans and sniffs about.

Finally the General concluded with, "Is there anyone out there who doesn't understand what I said or has any questions?"

Total silence. Then I see Skipper Gehring's right arm starting to ascend! Nuts!

The General saw it and said, "State your name and question."

Mike didn't miss a beat, "Lt Col. Mike Gehring Sir. I'm sick of all the preferential treatment the helicopter pilots are getting around here. Something needs to be done about it."

The General, along with all the others present were stunned!

Finally the General came back with, "What the hell are you talking about? "

Mike again, never skipped a beat. He said, "General, YOU might not have noticed, but believe me, the rest of us do. Anywhere we go on base, every prime parking spot is reserved for helicopter pilots! The Club, the Exchange, the Dispensary, even the Wing Headquarters! The best, closest parking spot is always reserved for the helo drivers! You have to have seen them General. They're clearly marked "Handicapped!"

For about five seconds there was total silence, and then total pandemonium! Cheers, jeers and catcalls, all over... as the theater emptied.

The General never said another word.
 

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OK, one good turn deserves another.

When I was in the Guard, our commander was kind of a dick...arrogant yet incompetent.

Anyway, on one particular Saturday morning, someone rolled the big janitor's bucket (you know the kind...bright yellow with a big wringer on top) outside and parked it in the commander's parking spot.

Now it just so happened that on this particular Saturday we pilots were having an open-ranks inspection. Since we always came to work in flight suits, they wanted to make sure we all had a blue uniform (God knows why.) I was new to the squadron, and was impressed to see that, as the boss strolled down the front rank, each guy he passed immediately stripped off a critical uniform piece and passed it back to the row behind, where someone quickly put it on and thereby became presentable.

At the end of the inspection, the deputy commander, a Major whose call sign was Judd, took over and surprised us all by saying, "Sorry guys, but I can't dismiss you until we know who put the janitor's bucket in the group commander's parking place."

Silence.

The poor guy persisted: "I'm serious guys, we have to stand here until the guilty party 'fesses up."

Silence.

Finally, the awkward impasse was broken by a captain named Gary in the front row taking two steps forward.

"So, Gary, it was you?" asked Judd.

"Naw Judd" said Gary, "I didn't do it, but hell, if no one else is gonna take credit for it, I will."
 

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All good. "Readers Digest" used to have a column called "Humor in Uniform," dont know if they still do, but those were a couple that would make it.

I have one on a personal level that was supremely satisfying:

A young airman suffered an "accidental" gunshot wound in the hand and reported that I had worked on the gun (S&W K-22). .. which was true. He further claimed that I had removed the hammer block safety.

He stated that the gun had been sitting on the trunk of his car, fell off, discharged and another airman was shot in the hand.

The XO called me into his office and proceeded to ream me. He was a very senior major and a total #@*^: jerk.

He accused me of being everything but a child of God. Of course I denied and he pulled the gun out of a drawer and said he had proof.

I very respectfully asked to see the gun, pulled a screwdriver out of my shop coat and took the sideplate off and presented the hammer block.

I would have killed to have a picture of him then.

But much to my surprise he apologized.

Later the truth emerged: airman #1 was shooting at a playing card held by airman #2. He jerked the trigger.

The major was nice to me thereafter.
 

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I know that this is a bit off topic, but when I was in the Guard I volunteered to help conduct Land Nav training at Ft. McClellan for OCS. Our first, granted "first", briefing by the Post Commander we were instructed to "turn off" all cell phones prior to the briefing. One of my buddies from my unit turned his off, as instructed, and within the first 5 minutes his cell phone turned itself back on without him knowing and started playing the song that he had as his ring tone, which happened to be "Crazy B!tch" by the band Buck Cherry. Was not his fault, being that he did as he was instructed and turned his phone off. So, as he was fighting to get the battery out, all the while his cell is playing this very obnoxious song very loudly, the Post Commander called him out and on stage in front of the entire OCS Cadre and all of us volunteers, explain why his cell phone was still on and sing the "Barney Song" as punishment. Very hilarious night after that!
 
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