[Bloofington]

hitting this window in the back of my house.

WHAT'S UP WITH THAT??!?!!???!!?? :shock: :shock: :shock:

And the window's filthy, so please don't tell me about birds thinking there's nothing there because the window's so clean. I haven't touched that room except for spot vacuuming since I tore this place up and turned it into a construction site over four years ago.

I have a raised ranch, 4 bedroom, 1.5 bath, with a sun room that was added by the original owner in 1987 to replace the deck in back off the dining room area. A new deck was also added off the new sun room, in back of the kitchen. A large 60 foot evergreen, one of five such trees on my property, sits directly in back of the northeastern corner of the foundation, with large branches that extend outward in various places including past the windows of the sun room a VERY short distance away.

All morning long I have been hearing this plock!, plock! sound coming from that room. When I went upstairs to investigate I found a large robin hovering and plocking off one of the windows of the sun room, and then flitting back into the tree. Like I said, the window's filthy, so I can only conclude:

(i) it's after my bourbon collection;
(ii) it wants to make friends with my cat;
(iii) it wants to make friends with my snake;
(iv) it likes garlic;
(v) it wants my cigar collection;
(vi) it wants to tell me it does sheetrocking and carpentry for cheap;
(vii) it wants to catch up on All My Children, which I tape during the week and watch on weekends;
(viii) it's tired of CNN and wants to watch FOX-News;
(ix) it found out I'm looking for a new attorney (already found one, thanks!) and wants to tell me about a pigeon it knows in the city that works for cheap, all cases;
(x) it wants to help me sing Happy Birthday to Renee Zellweger;

WHY DOES THAT ROBIN KEEP PLOCKING OFF MY WINDOW?!?!?!!?????!!????

WHAT'S UP WITH THAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATT?!?!?!?!??? :shock:

 

[SpecialEd]

It's been eating fermented berries...

 

[Bloofington]

Now THAT actually makes sense.

Uh-ho. First a pigeon pooped on me in Manhattan, now it's a drunken robin 65 miles north of that right outside my home. It's a network I tell you, they're trying to assassinate me.

:shock: :shock: :shock:

 

[SpecialEd]

You must have some skeletons in your closet... bird skeletons! Is there anything you'd like to tell us?

ejs

 

[Bloofington]

Well, I respectfully decline to answer on the grounds of my Fifth Am----------, . . .

awright, awright chooguys, stop twisting, and stop hitting my window, I'll fess up, . . .

I'LL TELL EVERYTHING!!!

During my bodybuilding days I regularly ate 10-12 eggs a day, and would frequently go into diners and order swiss cheese omelettes with 12-16 eggs, home fries, rye toast with butter on the side, and chocolate shakes. Plenty of ketchup on that omelette. It is a well known fact that eggs have steroid-like effects on those performing muscle building exercise, and since I was totally unwilling to indugle in performance enhancing drug use, I did the egg thing.

Oh, and for The Egg Police out there, in our never ending merry go round of "What's Bad For You This Decade" it has long been debunked that eggs in and of themselves are "bad for you" for any reason.

For the record, my blood pressure, good cholesterol, bad cholesterol, triglyceride counts and anything else you can count having to do with heart or artery problems have always been well within healthy levels, astonishingly healthy. I won't die of a heart attack, it'll be an asthma attack if we're talking about 'natural' causes here.

As for what REALLY winds up getting me, it may just as well be those gol' danged bird folks.

HE'S STILL HITTING MY WINDOW!!! DOESN'T HE GET TIRED OF IT???!?!?!?!!!

Stupid bird.

:shock: :shock: :shock:

P.S. - The protein in an egg has the highest digestibility of any known food, particularly the egg white. The total Protein Efficiency Ratio of a whole egg is about 92, with the white being close to 100, and the protein of the yolk (YES, PROTEIN IN THE YOLK!!!) comprising about 47% of the egg's total protein count, and having a Protein Efficiency Ratio in and of itself equal to milk or meat. The yolk also has a goodly amount of Vitamin A, fat-dissolving lecithin and overall, the egg also contains vital B-vitamins, in addition to steroid-like effects (hormone precursors) for those of you seeking to add 15 pounds to your curls, 40 pounds to your squat or half an inch to those hams hanging from your shoulders.

 

[SpecialEd]

P.S. - The protein in an egg has the highest digestibility of any known food, particularly the egg white. The total Protein Efficiency Ratio of a whole egg is about 92, with the white being close to 100, and the protein of the yolk (YES, PROTEIN IN THE YOLK!!!) comprising about 47% of the egg's total protein count, and having a Protein Efficiency Ratio in and of itself equal to milk or meat. The yolk also has a goodly amount of Vitamin A, fat-dissolving lecithin and overall, the egg also contains vital B-vitamins, in addition to steroid-like effects (hormone precursors) for those of you seeking to add 15 pounds to your curls, 40 pounds to your squat or half an inch to those hams hanging from your shoulders.

Do I still have to lift the weights or can I just eat the eggs? :lol:

Ed "Hamhocks" Stahl

 

[Bloofington]

Sorry Ed, but it's a partnership thing, ya gotta do both.

 

[SpecialEd]

Ahhh, so that's why it hasn't been working....

 

[Bloofington]

So Ed, you're an old bird dog, how about my robin? Oh, that's right, he stopped. I think he got tired. Oh wait, maybe he dropped dead. Oh great, I've got a dead robin in my back yard. Hey, you think the woodchucks will eat it? :shock:

 

[Bloofington]

Never mind, it's back. I actually got to stand there in my kitchen and watch it. It's sitting right on the branch directly outside the back second from left window pane in the sun room, sideways, then it takes off and flies the foot and a half or so and hits the window with its feet, then flies back to the branch in a very controlled fashion. I actually watched it do this four times. It's a big robin, very prominent 'red breast' look, and seems to know exactly what it's doing.

For a city kid like me, this is a big thing, it's what I always wanted out of life.

BUT WHY IS HE DOING IT?!?!?!?!!?!! :? :shock: :? :? :shock:

 

[Richard Jefferies]

BUT WHY IS HE DOING IT?!?!?!?!!?!! :? :shock: :? :? :shock:

Uh...because he's a birdbrain? :lol:

 

[Bloofington]

:shock:

 

[Fernando Coelho]

I think that bird has watched too many cartoons. Now it thinks it can kick through glass :lol: Either that or the bird just caught the latest Kill Bill flick. Either way, I think you should leave it a small shot of scotch for all the effort.

 

[Bloofington]

Well, let's see what's in the bar, a bunch of bourbons, some rye, Everclear, homemade Kahlua, a couple bottles of fine wine given to me by a friend, a sauterne wine, and oh yes, more homemade Kahlua upstairs in the freezer, along with a bottle of Bombay Sapphire for when the summer arrives, back downstairs in the bar, a bottle of Bacardi 8, a bottle of Hallmark Demerara 25 year old rum, and ah yes, a bottle of Bowmore 12, but I was saving that for Vince. I couldn't send it to him, so I'll have to deliver it in person some day.

Okay Fernando, the bird can't have Vince's scotch, so which one of the others do I leave out for him?

Decisions, decisions!!! :shock:

 

[Fernando Coelho]

Definitely the homemade Kahlua. The bird will love the sweet taste. It may get a little hung over, but what the heck!

 

[Nemo]

Hey Bloof!

Do you think the Kahlua is gonna make its headaches any worst :?:

Sorry I've been disconnected. Have traveled to the Mother Island twice in the last 3 weeks. Got your message on the "pasteles" and trying to hook you up. Will keep you posted!

Oh... any .410 will take care of the robin problem for you!

 

[Bloofington]

As for the .410, HANDS OFF, I LOVE MY ROBIN!!!

As for the pasteles, . . .

:shock: :shock: :shock:

Uh oh. I never thought anyone would take me up on it!!! What's the bill going to be?


$2,306?!?!?!?!!?????!!??

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUU
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
GGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH . . .

















THUMP!!!