Word today out of Westfield, New Jersey that 264 year old Virginia Ham, third cousin of the late Porque Rohste, was the only resident who failed to escape the massive blaze at a block party in which neighborhood residents were observed listening to music, playing ball and other games, eating, drinking and generally carousing in a day long Fourth of July celebration on Sunday, while the 264 year old Ham burned to death.
Our reports say that there was literally almost no one even looking on, save for Thomas "Big Tom" Washington, Master of Ceremonies and Head Chef of the Fourth of July observance that brought people from other neighborhoods and towns to enjoy the festivities and homemade delicacies.
A few of the residents, upon being notified of the reason for the commotion near the grill area expressed their admiration for Ms. Ham, describing her as a woman who gave literal slices of her life to others throughout her quiet existence as a spinster who mostly kept to herself and engaged in community affairs and charitable works.
It was also reported, in a story yet to be confirmed that parts of Ms. Ham's body were seen on a table near the site of the blaze surrounded by pineapple slices. Stay tuned for further word on this breaking story.
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